Days like these are the days where I find myself feeling particularly thankful for not owning a gun. Days like these this world seems to get the better of me. There's no amount of words I can tell myself, there's no reasoning with me. I see the worst of us being constantly rewarded, and I punish myself for that. I destroy myself for that. I'm so tired. I just... I am so tired of this world. Of everything. Worst of all, I'm tired of me. I've tried so many times to pick myself up, but I just can't seem to. I don't know how to start. I don't know how to anymore.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of this world. I'm afraid of everything. I've become afraid of something I used to look forward to - that light of the end of the tunnel. I've become afraid of what lies at its end, to where it leads to, to who it leads to. I've never felt like this before. So defeated. So resigned. So afraid.
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