Pages

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Day Two hundred and eighty nine - Summoning the guardians of the astral gate

This is the moment. This is it - the moment of my final victory. Here I stand, triumphant, at the end of time, at the end of space, at the end of everything. One last step, and finally, at long, long last, I will end this reality so that I can create it anew. From the ashes of this dead creation shall be born a new era, a realm of infinite possibility where everything will be made right. Such are the spoils of the stellar was I waged, and the cosmos is painted red with the blood of dead gods and demons. They are all gone now, one by one they were all dealt with : a googolplex of them, they all faded to nothingness at my hands, these creators, these destroyers. Their pantheons now extinguished and long forgotten, their power courses through me, surges through me. I have committed deicide on a cosmic scale, leaving these forlorn husks of those who once called themselves Gods in my wake. The tyranny of the skies has been broken. All heavens have been torn asunder. No hell or netherworld remains. None remain - but I. No lord, no god, no hate, no pity, no pain - just me.

This supreme act of justice is writ upon the stars, stars so old now, so distant, so far removed from this lingering ocean of night, that they are but blues dots in the far distance. Even with eyes the size of galaxies, they now seem impossible to fully grasp. With eyes that see the space beyond space, that sense the time beyond time, I see them all hurtling towards their end of the center of everything. We're almost done now, even if I do allow myself space for one last moment of tender entertainment. For millions of years now, I have watched a procession of different iterations of the same man climb the long and winding stairs of the well of infinity, a relic far older than this reality. It's always the same, the climb, the fall, and to when and whither he falls, I know not, but mere moments after he falls, he is returned to the well, only to try and dissuade the next iteration of himself from committing the same folly. It goes on and on, forever, or so it seemed. At the opposite end of the universe, there is a twin to this tale of star-crossed love : one lone woman stands by a pool, on whose deep waters stretch down space and time, and after an eternity of eternities, so it is that these souls find each other again. I witness them reunite, and then leave this reality. For some reason, I felt an immense kinship with these lost souls. In a sense, it seemed we walked the same path together, or were part of the same eternally occurring pattern. Their doors, too, will be open to nothing but happiness. 

I swell with the power of creation, gorging on it until I am full to bursting. I expand to the length and width and depth and all other dimensions and reality, until I am everything and everything is me. I create, I destroy, I am life, and I am death, but above all I am love, and it is with love I now go to this newness that will be birthed from me. Contraction begins, I become more and yet less, I see all that is, that was. Sarah, do you remember? All those times I wept by your grave, all those promises I made? That I would put everything right? That you would live and be happy and that one day, no matter the price, no matter how long it took, I would find you one day? I have to finally cease to be, to be on my way to you. All I see is you, Sarah. All I know is you. There's only one thing left, my darling. Kill me, Sarah, kill me again with love. Here, at the edge of the longest night, here at the tipping point, I contract, and seem to the naked eye to be no more than a baby in fetal position. Alone in the cosmos, a strand of sperm, an egg. I am the darkness at the end of the light. The night at the end of creation. I am. I am. I am. Nothing. My eyes open : let there be light!

No comments:

Post a Comment