Day Three hundred and forty five - I'm so tired

Motherfucker, I already wrote my post for today over three hundred days ago. Sometimes I do hate myself. But this is a sure sign of a very, very tired mind, one who's swamped with work, and is in dire need of a long, long time away from everything. And hopefully, that time will be coming soon, though not away from everything, but away enough from everything I know to make a difference. We'll see. There is a long trek ahead of me, many, many miles to go, miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. Is it obvious by now how much I love Robert Frost? Without him, much here would never be extant.

I knew that this year would test me. And though I did not know just how it would test me - and believe me, this motherfucker threw some unexpected curveballs my way - I knew that I would not weather all the tribulations I'd face. I knew that some of these trials I would be failing. What I... ngh... hope... to take away from all these... ngh... failures... is that I learned the lessons they presented. That they taught me what not to want. What not to invite into my life. What not to... ngh... hope for. 

Ah well, that's hope for you, in a nutshell. Hope should be a controlled substance.

[As an addendum to this post, let me add that I was halfway through a rather lengthy post about how me and a couple of my closest friends had been recording a podcast up until a few months ago, when we sort of abruptly stopped, and we've been trying to figure out how to return to its original intent, something we started deviating from somewhere along the way. I started musing about how one of the episodes we wanted to record but never got around to was what we wanted to be when we grew up. And I was going to say that I knew I would never be a football player, because I never was the athletic kind of guy, but that due to having grown up in the 80's, I wanted to be an astronaut because of the Challenger accident - something I quickly gave upon once I learned just how much stuff I'd never understand I'd actually have to understand. My other big idea as a kid was that I wanted to be a lawyer, mainly because of a TV show called 'L.A. Law' and my unrequited love for one Susan Dey. As I was writing yesterday, everything felt all too familiar, so I did a quick search on my blog, and wouldn't you know it - I'd already written about this, and it makes sense that I did, since I did set out to write my story. But for a few moments there I was really happy that I'd found something to write about - I'm struggling to come up with ideas - only for me to realize I'd already written about it. Eh, it's not like there isn't enough repetition here already...]