Day Two hundred and fifteen - The certainty of chance

This post might be a sign, or indeed, signs, of things to come here, but I make no promises. But lately, though, and for about a few weeks or so, I found myself thinking about Charles Dickens. Not about him necessarily, nor about his oeuvre in general, but rather a specific bit from one of his books - it was something about how one decides who is to be the hero of one's life. My memory was telling me that it was from 'A tale of two cities', but something was off. I haven't read any Dickens in ages - probably since the 90's, so his body of work isn't readily fresh and/or present in my mind. But thank the baby jesus for google, and lo and behold, how wrong I was : the part I was remembering was in fact from 'David Copperfield'. Of course it was, how could I forget? It's one of his books I enjoyed the most - though I unashamedly confess that Dickens is one of those writers whose books always took me months to finish, and I'd sometimes need years apart before tackling another one. Maybe that's why I haven't read many of his books, not even when I was at my most voracious reading capability. There are some I want to read, some I want to read again, but my god, the patience required for me to undertake such a task is something that I do not now possess.

But yes, the theme of the hero of one's life, that's what's been in my mind. Now, don't expect a deep essay here - I am far too simple for that. But as I find myself revisiting the Hyrule of 'Breath of the Wild' for the nth time, I found myself interacting the most with the NPCs in this new run, than ever I did before. I listened to their stories, I fulfilled all their small sidequests, I helped when they cried for help - even when I heard them from a distance and ran to help. Because I am deeply familiar with this game, I have long since stopped reading even a single line of dialogue, and I skip the cutscenes altogether. Now, however, I wonder just how much the hero I am - yes, it is my actions that save everyone, it's my skills and my powers that drive evil away from the lands. But that's duty - I am bound to this destiny. Who I want to save, who I want to hold, who I want to protect - that I do out of love, though it may remain ever unspoken.

There was a bad breakup some years back where I was told that their purpose in life was not to save me - or anyone else for that matter. But that's a lie, isn't it? We all crave salvation. We all desire the redeeming embrace of love. That, though, so often requires that we allow someone else to be the hero of our own life. It requires a leap of faith - from us as much as from those who come knocking at our doors. A leap of faith that the path towards the main quest can we walked together. It should be simple. As simple as that. But reason, ah reason - reason is the murderer of belief.