Day One hundred and four - You learn about it

After we broke up, I naturally felt lost. I really didn't know what to do next - Dora having been my first and only girlfriend up to that point, I'd never really even gotten used to the idea what being single was, let alone now that I was coming out of nearly eight years with someone. So I kept my exercise routine, I kept to not eating and drinking crap, I devoted even more time to work - anything to just keep my mind from processing the changes that had happened, and were bound to happen. In December 2002, a bunch of temps were recruited for the christmas period at the store I worked at, and among those was a girl who immediately caught my attention. Hell, she'd catch anyone's attention, she was that good looking. Eventually me and her started to talk, mainly about metal - she was big into it as well - but early on I learned that she was on a relationship with some guy. Ah well, no matter, more's the pity and all that. What with her being a temp, she was gone soon after, and I thought I'd never see her again. Claudia, her name was.

My exercising and my dieting made me lot a lot of weight, I was becoming very, very slim, and I'd started growing out my hair a while back. Eventually, this started bringing me the attention of other women, though not only I was mostly oblivious to it, I didn't find myself ready to be with anyone else, not even for the most casual of things. In a matter of months, two girls I worked with and got along with really well let me know they were interested in me. One, the first, a girl called Elsa, was very casual about it, she said that if I was into her it would be ok, but if I wasn't, it would be ok either way. The other, a girl called Carina, was much more insistent. She hounded me both on and off work, talking to me insistently on the internet and messaging me on my phone, asking me all the time if she could come up to meet me. But neither of them interested. I don't think anyone did. I'd rather be alone, and make the most of my alone time. And that time was spent laying in my bed reading - this period of my life saw me significantly upping my reading intake - or listening to music or playing videogames. In my off days I'd try and be with Ian, and that kept me reasonably sane. Sometimes, I'd go out with Hugo, his girlfriend and some other friends of theirs. I'd only deviate from my usual diet routine if I hung out with them, and we had a meal together, or went out for drinks. Those were some months I'd sorely needed to get some healing done, and to get me ready for what was about to come. A few months into 2003 Claudia had returned to the store, this time on a contract, and we picked up on where we'd left. And things would start to get complicated after that.