Try though she might, Jo just can't catch any sleep. There's something on her mind, something she needs to do, something she's got to get off her chest, and she was so certain that yesterday when she got home that she was going to finally sit down with Jake and have that long awaited talk. But work kept her for longer than she wanted, and by the time she got home she already felt depleted, no energy whatsoever. Her resolve was strong though, and on the way home she practiced all the things she wanted to say, she had everything down pat. It would hurt, it would hurt a lot and probably for a long time, but if she leaves then maybe Jake can be happy again. She saw him sleeping on the couch already when she arrived, and though she moved to where he lay to wake him up and get everything sorted out, she just couldn't. The words would not come, her arms could not be roused to wake him from his slumber. There was such peace in his sleep, such stillness. She sat on the chair across from where he was sleeping, and in the dimness of the bedroom, she could see his chest rising and falling. Her breath synced up with his own, and together they stayed in that sacred silence, so silent it hurts to listen. Then there was a moment when Jake woke up - and that startled her. She saw the confusion in his eyes, the pain in his eyes. He sat down on the couch, and turned a wee light on, and looked at her. Jo saw him mouth the word 'what?', barely audible, and shook her head, tried to speak, and just... just failed. She didn't want him to see her cry, and she just got up from the chair and went to her bedroom.
What Jo hoped for when she got the bedroom didn't happen. On the one hand, she hoped she could just fall asleep, after all, didn't she feel exhausted, drained? Surely sleep would come to claim her soon. But on the other hand she really wanted Jake to knock at the door, and ask to come in, and they'd talk and everything would finally come clean. No, scratch that, what she wanted was for him to come into the room, and lay down beside her, and hold her and tell her that he'd never let her go, just like he had so many times before. None of that came to pass. She tried to distract herself, but she just couldn't manage to do so. She tried watching the TV, but her mind drifted easily from it. Then she tried to read a book, but every time she read a paragraph, she had to go bad to the beginning and read it again. There's no way she can focus, not tonight. So she turns off the light, closes her eyes, and tries to summon sleep. She tosses and turns, gets up, lays back down, paces across the bedroom, rehearses those words time and time again. It's past three a.m. when she decides that not only won't she be able to get any sleep, but that she can finally take that step forward now, and open the door and go and have that conversation. She can see the light from the living room coming in, through the crack of the door. That means Jake's up already, and getting ready to go to work. She knows he gets up earlier than he has to so he can have some extra free time. All she has to do now is open the door, and cross to the living room. She takes a deep breath, and puts her hand on the door handle. But then she hears footsteps coming closer, and she senses Jake stopping right outside. So close, and yet so far. Just turn the door handle, Jo, you can do it. She can't do it. She hears the sound of something scraping the floor, and she looks down and sees a note being pushed through, towards where she was. She waits until Jake turns to leave, and hears the door to the house being shut behind him. Then, and only then, does she pick up the note. She clutches it with both hands, and slides down to the floor, her back against the bedroom door. She opens the note. It just says 'We need to talk.'
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