There's still a little bit more to be added to the Olga story, because something that happened at its end would end up influencing what would follow. But before I get to that, and because we're now at past the halfway point of the year, I want to take stock of how it's been going so far. I wrote before that though my resolutions were largely unnoficial, I'd like to stick by them. Some... I've managed to do, like writing here every day, and mostly being able to keep my room clean on a regular basis. I know that this might seem like too small a task, but what with living with three cats it's not always easy. Still, it's something that I want to keep working at.
But there were at least two other things I wanted to do - one I haven't done at all, and the other I was managing just fine, but then this pasrt May it all went south.
So let me begin with the first I wanted to start doing again - and that's exercising. I'm always finding excuses not to start, and even when I seem to run out of them, there I go creating new excuses again. And I put the blame for that squarely on my own shoulders - no one is forcing me to make the choices I've been making. But all that needs to change, especially because this past may I found myself drinking heavily again. And it's not like I had some sort of mental anguish that would have led me back to drinking, no. Indeed, the excuse I offered up to myself, and that, in fact, I'd already be readying should I come to lapse back into drinking, was that the coming heatwave would make it harder for me to resist the temptation. And as it started to get hotter, I found myself popping down to teh convenience store across the road to get a beer. But that turned into bringing two beers, three beers, four beers... and then wine came to the mix, and of course, to top it all off, my eating for progressively worse. I'd stuff myself with chips and sandwiches, and to help me deal with the hangover, there would be the inevitable drinking of fizzy drinks by the gallon. This, of course, doesn't help me deal with my wight problems in no way, shape or form. I'm already feeling my health levels getting worse, and that has to change as fast as I can.
Because if I don't... then I'm very likely going to die, or worse. And it's not the dying bit that worries me, I've made my peace with death a long time ago, though increasingly I feel like I would not want an untimely death. No, what worries me the most is suffering something that debilitates me seeverely, either soon or at a later stage of my life. And I keep going down this road I'm on, then I can't be surprised when the worst comes to pass.
It's up to me now, turn on the bright lights.
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