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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Day One hundred and seventy one - Falling

It's circa november 2013, and I'm feeling good. I'm felling a lot better than I had felt in quite a while. Exercising every day was doing me a world of good, and I was eating a whole lot better as well. I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking 'damn, dawg, you look good'. And I was - I was looking like my old self again, the pre-Sofia me, and I was feeling like I was finally moving on, and moving ahead. So I decided I was due for a much needed night out - I needed to be out of my house, I needed to see people again, I needed life around me, I needed to have some drinks and some laughs, and I needed to dance the night away.

I wouldn't be able now to remember whether it was a friday or a saturday, the day I went out, but I decided to hit some bars on the way to my intended destination - a club I used to go a lot back when I used to go out regularly. I had some drinks, to be sure, and by the time I got to that club I was good and ready to have a great night. And bear in mind that whenever I went out, I never did so thinking that I'd end up with someone, I'd never dare presume that. Some times I did end up with someone, most often I did not, but that was never the goal for me.

I was on fire - suited and booted, clad in black, a slim, svelte dark elf, ready to tear it up on the dancefloor. The drinks kept on coming, and I was surprised to find the amount of female attention I was attracting. I kid you not - it seemed as if most of them had their eyes on me, and I even had a group of very good looking girls move towards where I was, and they were all dancing in a sort of circle almost all around me, and all of them - and I do mean ALL of them - were making the eyes at me. But... I was not there for them. I was there for me. I wanted to have fun, not to get involved with someone, not even to have sex. I'm not sure whether I could've even performed. I was still taking meds and my libido had all but gone.

When the club closed at 5 a.m., one of the girls from that group stayed and chatted with me for a while. She was wondering why I'd not picked any of them, but I had no real way of telling her that to me that was never an option. I couldn't think any other way back then. So this girl then thought she had me figured out - she decided that since I wasn't interested in any of them girls, then I must be gay. I told her I was not - and I am not - but she brushed me away.

I left the club to make my way home - I had to walk the long way home, and I had about an hour to go. Then things got even stranger.

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