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Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Day One hundred and seventy - A tale that wasn't right

Fall 2013, and my life is steadily going to hell. Reeling from the emotional pain I was still in, unable to get my mind in the right frame, and now penniless. Everything had gone. A friend of years past knew I was looking for a job, and told me she knew of an opening for an outbound call center. I was desperate enough to think that it might be a good idea, so she got me in touch with the guy she knew there, and soon enough I'd been to an interview and started my training. It was only a couple of days, and then by the third day we were already talking to customers on the phone. I'd worked in call centers before, but never outbound. I hated it at once. 

I hated feeling like I was disturbing people, I hated hearing my co-workers complaints after each unsuccessful call, I hated having someone hovering over me constantly. I managed to endure one full day there, and halfway through my second day I just up and left. I couldn't physically be there anymore. I found it strangely oppressive... like the building itself had strange vibes that made me leaving queasy.

When I went home, I had to make a decision. I couldn't find it in me the strength and fortitude I neded to go back to work - least of all such a soul destroying job like the one I'd escaped from - and neither did I think to claim any other kind of support from social security. That's how bad I felt, that I deemed myself unworthy of any help whatsoever. So my only option was to sell my vinyl collection.

Granted, by that time I didn't have many records - I had less than a hundred. But I had some good records, and at least a couple I had are worth big bucks now... like four digits big. I got in touch with a couple of buyers, and one of them made an offer I knew was undervaluing my collection. But it was the best offer I could get, and it was cash on hand. Stupidly, I said yes. I saw the guy walk away with my beloved collection for a pittance.

But at least now I had some money in my pocket. Not much, but enough to do some things that were urgent. One of them was buying a PC - I'd been without one for a long while, and if I wanted to look for jobs, then I needed one. I bought a second-or third hand desktop, not great, but I didn't need it to be great. It was around the 150 bucks mark, so a chunk of change got taken away in a jiffy. Now, though, I seemed to have some sort of plan figured out : a PC, and also I got back to the gym to get in shape and be presentable for any interview I managed to get, and I seemed to be on the way to clawing myself out of this abyss.

Oh, my sweet summer child, how truly naive you were.

You hadn't yet fallen all the way.

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