Day One hundred and sixty eight - Day too soon

But Vera was indeed a much needed friend during that period of my life. Because things would only get worse for me. Remember that letter of dismissal I wroote about getting in the mail? Well, I did trust my boss to put things right, and to be honest... I didn't for a minute imagine that she wouldn't. By July 2013 I thought I'd had enough time away from work to recover, to put myself back together again. Emotionally, I was still devastated, and mentally I was still far from ideal, but I felt strong enough to get back to work. 

So one day I just get prepared to work at what would have been my regular schedule, got on my way, and when I got there everyone was looking at me sideways. Everyone was giving strange, nervous glances. Well, I did see a lot of new faces there - we had a quite high turnaround anyways, so new people were always coming in - but I didn't see or sense that aught was amiss. When I went to the back room to report to my boss that I was ready and willing to return to work, I didn't find her there, but one of my team leaders was. He looked at me with that 'what the fuck are you doing here?' kind of look, and I told him that I was coming back to work. He then told me that as fas as he knew I didn't work there anymore, that was the info he'd been given a couple months back. I thought that some kind of misunderstanding was underway. He said he couldn't let me get back to work, and if I had any questions, I should contact the outsourcing company I worked for. And that's just what I did - I went there and demanded to see someone about this situation. They made me wait for quite a while, but I eventually got to talk with someone. I talked to this woman who told me that me returning to the store was out of the question, they had no need of more people there. But she said she'd personally see to it that in the next few days I'd be contacted with a new job offer. They never got back to me.

But the worst thing was that for me to get back to work I had to make a decision first to communicate to my doctor and then to social security that I was, indeed, fit to return to work - and the doctor agreed on that assessment - and that meant that social security would stop sending their meager cheques through the mail. Ergo, that meant that me not gaving a job, and now having not even that small amount I got in the mail every month, I was once again flat broke. Believe me, the money I got from social security was such a low amount that all I could do was pay my bills, and then the rest was for my day to day expenses, which had to be very, very well regulated. Of course I couldn't save a dime. And of course all this broke me down even further.