Pretty much the same way 2013 began, and I looked at it with a heart full of love and hope, and it turned out to be the worst year of my life, so too did 2014 begin with my heart full of pain and hopelessness, and by year's end I'd be in a much better place. I couldn't have been able to envision both outcomes in my wildest dreams : the former seemed an impossibility, and the latter an implausibility. Especially because by early 2014 I was feeling myself fading further from sanity.
So, I'd stopped paying my bills by December - and thankfully for me I only had to pay the internet / mobile phone bill. It didn't get disconnected immediately, lucky me, so I may have had a couple of months more of internet. I'd dedicate a couple of hours every day to sending CVs - I had to find a job, sooner rather than later, and I found myself sending hundreds of CVs. Now, bearing in mind I knew exactly how dilapidated my mental health was, I didn't apply for any type of job I knew would send me spiralling even further down. But there seemed to be lots of options available. I went to the same recruitment sites every day, they always had new offers, I sent my CVs.... and soon I started to get some calls for some interviews. Most of them went really well, some did not at all - I had a few where the people interviewing me were so uninterested in me that it seemed like they were doing me a favour. Some I thought went so well that I had all but secured a job offer.
But... no one ever called back. Not a single offer was made. I kept on going to interviews, well into March, and by then I didn't have internet access at all, so I had already stopped sending CVs. I was getting tired - so, so tired - of always saying the same fucking things in them interviews - 'Hi, my name is X and I am X years old', 'I worked here for X amount of time, there for X amount of time, there for X amount of time', 'I am very professional, always on time, and I contribute to a healthy work environment'. God damn, I was tired. So tired, in fact, that I'd started losing hope in ever finding a job again, and so I started looking at this like a game. Every interview I went to, I'd tell a different story. Sometimes I'd say that I'd taken a year off because my fiancée had passed away. Sometimes she had 'died' of cancer, or she'd have 'died' in a car crash. I came up with so many crazy stories - and after all, why not? I wasn't going to be offered a job anyway.
Then I went to my second to last interview I've had so far - I didn't think it went that well, really, I even felt like throttling this stupid kid that was doing an interview at the same time - it was a group thing.
Then they called me and offered me a job.
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