Moving forward, I'll be going into stories from my darkest hour. I'll be revisiting how I went from living a love that seemed endless to almost killing myself. Some of those moments are moments that I've not dared think about too much in these past few years, but for the sake of honesty and my own mental health, I'm willing to walk down those roads once more.
That said, I should also state that there was an inciting event that led me to meet with Sofia in the first place. As I wrote before, I really didn't see her that way - I wouldn't have thought that we'd get together. I wouldn't have even thought that we'd be more than the online friends who occasionally saw each other kind of thing. So, bearing all this in mind, know that in the week that preceded my trip to Switzerland I sent Annie an email saying that even though she'd called our 'thing' off, I was still going there. As a sort of final push, you see? Maybe that would have helped sway her mind. Oh, she was very polite, very diplomatic, but she declined my offer all the same. I went to Switzerland nonetheless and stayed with Hugo for a week or so. Maybe slighly less than a week, I can't recall now. But during that time I spent there, I was talking to Sofia all the time. The more we talked, the more we got to know each other, the more we started getting close to one another... there was a growing part of me that was anxious to go back home and be with her again... and I felt the very same desire on her part.
My days in Switzerland - I was staying in the beautiful city of Nyon - were mostly spent doing nothing, really. Hugo was at work during the day, whenever I'd wake up I'd soon be getting out to do some shopping, then when he came back we'd talk, or watch a movie or play videogames. But it was what I needed, my work left me feeling exhausted every single day - something that would eventually take its toll on me. I needed badly to recharge, to get away, and I was in the perfect place. It's strange now to think this, but I wasn't that far from where Silvia was, but I never once felt the temptation to get in touch with her. That ship had, at long last, finally sailed.
But talking to Sofia was a balm to my soul. Every single message I got from her was like a a ray of light straight into my heart. Something was happening. Something potentially good was happening. My heart began to yearn. My heart began to hope. My heart began to beat.
I met up with Sofia on the same day I got back, and I think I picked her up precisely on the same spot we first met in person. We went for a walk in one of my favourite public gardens, and as I sat beside her, my hand in hers, I moved to kiss her; she kissed me, and with her kiss my life began.
With her kiss my life almost came to an end.
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