After Filipa, and even after our last night together, I - once again - kept to myself. I'd started exercising again, I still hated my job, but overall I was feeling happy. And then, some unexpected things happened. Now, I'm not certain now which of these happened first, but I'd say with great certainty that the order was as I'll write them. So, first thing I wasn't expecting - ever - was to be with Silvia again. I already told this story some posts back, but to cut a long story, Silvia came home to care of something or the other, she had some books of mine she wanted to return, and I had some books of her as well, and we ended up meeting. We were together for not very long, it was weird, it was strangely passive-aggressive, and by the end of that little get together I was walking away knowing full well that I didn't love Silvia anymore.
As I also wrote in that previous post, there's still a part of me that loves her still, but it's not a real, physical part of me; rather, it's the ghost of a ghost of a ghost, it's the reflection of an image, many times removed, echoing down a neverending well. But it was a relief. Knowing that I would no longer spend my days thinking about her, knowing that I would no longer spend my nights dreaming about her. Honestly? It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
It also left me feeling sad... empty. She had been such a presence in my life for the past six years or so, that feeling like I had no emotional attachment to her anymore left me feeling a bit... lost. But also, and in a strange way, it also left me feeling that, and much more than I'd ever felt before that liberating moment, that I could welcome love in my heart again. And it so happened that shortly after I found myself visiting my friend Hugo in Switzerland. He told me that he'd be staying in Poland for the next few months because of work commitments, and he asked me if I wanted to go visit him. I booked my trip to Poland then and there, and soon enough there I was, boarding a plane that would take me to the beautful of Warszawa - or Warsaw as we more commonly know it. My plan was a simple one : go there for a few days, have fun, get to know the city a bit, hang out with Hugo and his to this day girlfriend. What I didn't plan on doing was meeting someone. But meet someone I did - a polish girl called Olga.
We'd been out for a meal somewhere in Warsaw, and at some point a group of people joined us - as I recall it they might've been friend with either Hugo's girlfriend or someone who was with us. And I immediately took a liking to this girl - though I'm not so sure she did to me. However, all it would take was one dance for all that to change...
No comments:
Post a Comment