Right after she said those words - 'I need you so much' - we fell into an embrace that, I swear, I thought would never end. Much more than an embrace, it was a melding of our hearts, our souls. I wouldn't be aware of this yet, but the words 'it takes an ocean not to break' certainly never proved truer for us. But, ah, The National would still be a ways away from having such a perch in my heart. But in that moment, in that perfect moment, a moment against which the centuries beat vain, we finallly became one. Our love fully blossomed, our union as one all but complete. She led me to her room, and then to her bed. There were more words, more tears, and then more sex. Not making love - that only happened maybe twice during our time - but sex. Good Sex. Sex with Silvia eventually became always very, very good.But this wasn't happy sex, no. This was sad sex - the kind two broken people have when they're desperately looking for something to cling on to. It was after all physical activity had ended - our bodies spent - that we fell into a deep silence. There had always been deep silences from us, but this one was different. And it wouldn't even be the worst one - that was still to come. But in that silence, where it was just us and the nearness of us, and our hands and legs twined around each other's, I told her for the first time that I loved her. I had wished for this moment so many times in the past, but it never materialized. But it did now... and boy, did the dam burst. It was a now a raging torrent pouring out of me, its fervour unbridled. I wanted nothing more than to shout out to the world just how much I loved this woman. But if I was the noise, then Silvia was the silence... always. Random, yes, but also calculated when she wanted to.
The wounds we had would have to be mended - for the sake of our future together. We would have to get closer than we'd ever been before, and learn how to live with one another. And that challenge would be one we never quite managed to overcome. So, after we'd talked things through, and after we agreed that we'd still be going forward with the move to London - which was days away only, really - we soon found ourselves getting on that plane. We'd arranged to meet up with our landlady near Mile End, where we would renting our flat. The trek there was arduous, loaded up as we were. As soon as me met our landlady, she seemed to be just a tad on the unhinged side. She would not prove me wrong. But she was nice enough as she was showing us around the house, and as soon as she left us, our keys in hand, we had a well deserved shower and fell asleep exhausted soon after.
The time for rebuilding was upon us.
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