So, after Silvia came back home, and after we kept in touch still, we were both having a hard time living without one another. A funny thing that, we couldn't live with each other, and yet we couldn't live without each other. And I knew that Silvia wasn't happy with the fact that he ex-bosses back home had kinda duped her into going back - that prestigious architecture job wasn't exactly what it had been advertised. I was finding the distance far too much to bear, so I visited her. Twice, maybe three times. And though I never neither asked or demanded it of her, I cannot tell you how much she'd done me such a kindness, even if it had been for one sinle solitary time. I dreamt about it - I daydreamt about if often. I'd find myself at work and many times I imagined her coming in the store just to tell me that she'd be waiting for me when I left work, or she'd surprise me just as I was leaving work... but it never happened. I went through so much darkness alone, at that time. I never had a single friend there - not even the people who I got along with well at work I'd consider my friends. But I did it, and I did it because I wanted to go and visit her, I did it because being away from SIlvia was physically and emotionally painful. And as those visits continued, and as we continued to talk, and as I sensed her unhappiness there and her desire to come back to me, I worked so that it would eventually come to be a reality. But... it almost very nearly didn't happen.
You see, and I don't quite remember just how this came about, but during one of the times that I'd gone to visit SIlvia, I'd found out that she had a not so secret admirer that she wasn't exactly pushing away. Again, while she said that nothing had happened between them - though of that I was never 100% certain - it was the intimate, soul-bearing talks that crushed me. I don''t think I'd gone through her computer again, but maybe I went through her phone. I think that was how I found out. But the worst was still to come. I asked her how she'd met this guy, and she said he worked at this bar she usually went to. She told me the bar, and my heart sank at once. It was the bar where my ex Ana's ex-boyfriend worked at - the skinhead piece of shit I think I mentioned a while ago - and I asked Silvia what his name was - I think he had a nickname on her phone - and when she told me the name, I knew at once that it was the same unfortunate excrement of a person. I felt so, so disappointed. I think I would've understood anyone else, pretty much, but that guy? Fuck that guy. But Silvia also believed that I'd gotten involved with someone else while she was away - I had not. Not only was I behaving, I also couldn't look that way at another girl anymore. I even had a couple of girls flirt with me, but I never ever reciprocated that attention. It was touch and go for a while, but finally, we agreed on her coming back.
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