Day One hundred and forty six - Lilian

So, 2011 began with me more heartbroken than I'd ever been before - but not as much, not by a longshot, as heartbroken as I would be a couple of years later. From that one, I'm not sure that I'll fully recover. But that's a story for another time. Heartbroken, yes, and sad, but never without focus. I knew what I had to do, I knew what I wanted to do, and I got to it quickly. Two things on my mind : get in shape and get a job. I started going to a gym every single day, and I sent tons of CV's every single day. Something was bound to pop up sooner or later, and it did. Little did I know that not only I'd spend the next couple of years there, but it would also end up greatly contributing to the deterioration of my mental health. That last girl I cheated on Silvia with? I might not have explained this well, but she was just an online friend of mine, and even before I'd met Silvia, we were already very communicative with each other, there already was a bit of flirting going on, but we'd never gotten the timing right. When one of us was single, the other one wasn't, and it took the imminent demise of my relationship with Silvia for us to finally get to know each other in person. Me and this girl - Eunice - we went into an unofficial sort of relationship, but what kept us together was the sex, really. No, let me rephrase that, not the sex : the fucking. I've never met someone like her, with such a libido and appetite, who was up to pretty much anything. And by god, the things we did in public... it could be anytime, anywhere. And it often was. Though we always tried getting to a room first, things would happen all along the way there. Jesus, was she a fun one. But she committed that greatest of crimes... she wasn't Silvia. And she wasn't the only one, no. After her there was Irene, who I'd met some months before but had forgotten all about her. She was an external consultant at the place I was working at, and after a few weeks of me not paying attention, she pulled me aside and told me that there were some issues in the quality assurance from she'd done on one of my tasks that fell under her purview. It was just an excuse, really, to talk to me and see whether or not I remembered her. Naturally, as soon as she said that I remembered full well when and how we'd met - through a mutual friend. That initial talk led me to get her number from her, which led us to go out one day, which led us to get involved with each other. And I knew very early on that it was doomed to fail. I couldn't get invested emotionally on someone... not yet, not at that time. My heart belonged to Silvia.