Dasy One hundred and ninety two - Close to the edge, part III : I get up, I get down

To be fair, there were far more good/great moments in that relationship than otherwise, really. We were together often, and the sex thing aside, we had a pretty good companionship going on between us, furthered by the time I fell ill with a stomach virus, and Sonia was really good at caring for me while I was feeling ill. There was always the feeling that we genuinely enjoyed each other's presence and company - I always felt excited about being with her, she seemed to be the one. I even felt like the sex thing was gradually taking care of itself...mostly.

But the sands of time were running low for us. And the end for us came rather abruptly. We spent one last weekend together, and as far as I recall saturday went really well. There was a pretty good meal, and wine, and sex, and Sonia asked me to take pictures of her naked - she was into that sort of thing. We were good, things were good, we were happy. But sunday we woke up and I wasn't really in the mood and nor could I find it in me to get in the mood. So things got a bit sour then and there. And I can't remember exactly what now, but I think I said something she really didn't like. And she showed me a side of her I'd never seen before. She became withdrawn, distant, cold, barely speaking a word to me. Her traditionally smiling face has gone, now her countenance was a stone grimace. It remained that way until just after lunch, she had to go to the mall to get something, we barely exchanged a word, and as we were getting to the mall I was feeling more than unwanted - I was feeling dispised.

I asked her if she preferred if I went back to my place. She did, we didn't even kiss goodbye, and on my way home I started to get a sinking feeling. Sonia would not return my calls that day, and she'd barely reply to my texts. Though I apologised for whatever it was I'd said, she cared naught for it. Monday morning I wake up, get ready to go to work, and on my way there we started talking. Well, texting. She still wouldn't pick up when I called her.

She laid it down for me, plain and clear. Again, she felt like everything between us had happened too fast, too soon. And sure, I do get that. But then she got personal, attacking me for my 'poor performances'. She'd had enough of me, and five minutes before I start my shift she says we're through. 

And that was that - I's only see her once again ever, some months later at a gig we both attended. I met her new fella, we said hello, and that was that. It's a funny thing, though, because I questioned my own libido when I was with Sonia. She who came next would prove me dead wrong, the problem was never with me.