Something that I do every now and again here is take a breather and talk something else. As I start to see the end of the line for the story of my life so far - I'll be lucky to have a week left of stories to tell, if that. And I still have no idea what will come after that - I'm still juggling some ideas to see what would fit here and what would better fit a different project of mine.
So, to say that this past week and a half or so has been wild is an understatement. There's a story behind this, and I may or may not tell it in the future. Suffice to say that it has left me thinking about a lot of things : some I thought dormant, others I thought gone for good. It's also left me thinking about life, and how people just come and out of it so often. Be it friends, lovers, co-workers, whatever - you end up getting to know so many people, and granted - you'll not necessarily get along that well with most of them, but the beauty of it is when you do meet someone that brings something good to your life, even if it's something so small as someone sharing new music with you, or helping you out out of the kindness of their hearts.
But there's a weird thing that can happen - something called 'life'. You'll get a new job, or you'll move to somewhere else, or maybe it's something as simple as you reducing the time you spend on social media as your priorities change, and so many of these relationships fall by the wayside. Drifting apart from people is not an uncommon thing, we've all had that person who we got along with great at work or at the gym, and then one or the other would just disappear.
That's the relatively easy part though, having someone come back to your life isn't as easy to process. Maybe it's because reconnecting isn't as rosy a thing as the movies portray. In the meantime you've changed, you've grown, and you see that whatever stupid thjing that connected you both isn't there anymore. Or maybe you go the extra mile and open up and tell them that you've always had a crush on them and that ends to be completely damaging because the timing was incredibly off.
There's a not so small part of you that wishes that things hadn't really changed between then and now, and when you feel like you want things to be as they were and you reach out you sense that in fact it's the other person who has moved on from what you had, and you feel somewhat abandoned, somewhat betrayed.
But the truth is that nobody really owes nobody anything.... sometimes the choices we make include leaving people behind, or being left behind by people. One shouldn't demand of someone that things be as they were. But hope? Ah, one can always hope.
I ranted a bit about this because through the power of social media - something I'd been straying away from for a long while now - I reconnected with an ex, someone who was a co-worker and an old friend of mine, and all these experiences were different from each other. Some of this has filled me with dread, some of it has left me with hope. Let's just hope I'm wise enough to pursue what's right.
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