Day One hundred and eighty nine - Teleconnect Pt. 1

There are two ways of facing something, be it a relationship, a new job, or, indeed, life. On the one hand, you can take what you have to deal with as an opportunity to grow, to learn, to evolve. And maybe this stance requires that you still have hope beating in your heart, because at the end of the day you want to see that light at the end of the tunnel. On the other hand, you can look at everything as an obstacle, you can have that mindset that if things don't just play out the way you want them to, then you just push away any suggestions that you'd stand to benefit if you compromised a little.

I am the former kind of person, mostly, whilst Sonia was much more of the latter kind, and that was something I learned fairly on in our relationship. But when you're in love - and I was in love with her - you just push these thngs away, you put these thoughts in the backburner. Maybe they don't really matter. Maybe it's all in your head. Maybe you have to adapt to someone while they do not adapt or are willing to adapt to you. Maybe.

But let's focus in the beginning - that first night we spent together we ended up in her place, and we spent that night together. When I woke up I saw Sonia lying next to me, just looking at me. After a few moments of conversation, she asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend - there was nothing I wanted more. We spent the rest of the day together, and when night fell, she took me to a place by the beach near where she lived. That night, the people would be releasing paper lanterns into the night sky, and as per tradition, onr would make a wish as it went up.

We lit our lantern and together we let it go, as it rose up into the sky, I looked deep in her eyes and I wished - oh how I wished - that this time... that this time would be the one, that she would be the one. And for a while it seemed it was, it seemed she was. Because everything went great - really, really great - for the first few months. I met her daughter, she met my son, we were together every weekend, and soon we'd start planning our first time away together. We made plans to go spend christmas together, just the two of us, somewhere up north. It was perfect, it was a moment so sublime that, had it been locked away in an eternally recurring loop, I would not have minded at all. So how did I ruin it? I told her I loved her. 

And I did, I really did. I knew it the first time we were together. I knew that my heart would open up to her. For her. But she wasn't there yet... she thought I was too soon, going too fast. And from then on, all I could do was try and make up for it.